Bridging the gap between toddler groups and church
Looking to make a difference in your community through pre-shool children and their mums?
Two
churches offering a meeting place and support to local mums tell their stories in this article, which is reproduced with permission from Woman Alive magazine.
Read about the multi-cultural, multi-faith toddler group at run by Hope Price & Carol Arnold (pictured) at
St Mary's East Bedfont, Middlesex. and the Jigsaw group, at Kings Church Arnold, run by Beth Moran.
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‘We welcome the community into our church’
Hope Price and Carol Arnold run the St Mary’s parent & toddler
group at their church in East Bedfont, Middlesex (near Heathrow), where
Hope’s husband Geoff has been vicar since 2005. The group meets every
Friday afternoon in term time and draws parents, carers and children
from the locality, many of whom have English as a second language.
The Prices had only been at St Mary’s for a week when Hope discovered
from talking to a young mum at the church, that there was a need for a
new parent and toddler group in the area. Things started moving
quickly. “That young mum had recently trained to work with children, so
together with another church member and myself, we contacted the local
authority, set up all we needed, were given some toys by a local
Vineyard church and we began – all in the space of a month!”
The group met in the vestry on Friday mornings, as it was a time that
suited the helpers, and because the church hall was already being used
by a preschool. However, after 15 months, they outgrew their venue. It
was then they decided to meet on Friday afternoons so they could use
the hall after the preschool had finished with it.
“We have anything from 15 to 30 parents, grandparents, and
childminders, with 20 to 40 children,” says Hope. “Three of us come
every week we can, and there are six other helpers who come once a
month or more. We aim to have at least four helpers each time.”
The parents and carers hail from many countries, currently India,
Pakistan, Algeria, the West Indies, Kenya, Nigeria, Uganda, Germany,
Italy, Poland, Moldova, China, Japan and South Africa. “Some have
settled here long term, others are here for shorter periods for work,
or the work of their husband or partner,” explains Hope. “Many are
lonely, so it is important for them to make friends. Some speak little
English, but they are keen to learn and for their children to learn
English.”
One of the greatest challenges for Carol and Hope has been getting the
parents talking to new people and making them welcome. “The helpers do
this, but the parents seem to expect us to introduce them!” But there
has been plenty to encourage them as well, such as “seeing people
making friends and getting to know people in the church better”. They
say they’ve been thrilled to see shy children “gaining confidence week
by week and the happy look on their faces when they come in”.
Running a multi-cultural, multi-faith group such as this has not pushed
Christianity to the sidelines. In fact, one of its stated aims is “for
the church to welcome the community into our buildings as a first step
in introducing children and adults into the church community”.
Running a multi-cultural, multi-faith group such as this has not pushed
Christianity to the sidelines. In fact, one of its stated aims is “for
the church to welcome the community into our buildings as a first step
in introducing children and adults into the church community”.
“Our
story time includes a Bible story as well as other stories. Our singing
and action rhyme time includes Christian songs, which the children
love. At Harvest, Christmas, Easter and Pentecost we all go over to the
church for the last part of the parent & toddler group, for a few
minutes’ child-friendly service. For some, it is their first time in a
church. Most choose to go to this.
“One year we invited the group to a Sunday service and the children
sang their songs at the front. It went down well and we might repeat
that.
“Some have come to Alpha, become Christians and joined the church,
which is lovely,” say a delighted Hope and Carol. “It is definitely
worthwhile – and rewarding.”
Beth Moran talks about Jigsaw which she started at Kings Church in 2005, to enable mums to have a proper discussion and receive support while their children are cared for in a creche.
Many good schemes emerge from a time of frustration, and Jigsaw started in much the same way, though rather than moaning and then acting in her own strength, Beth Moran took her concerns to God.
“I was frustrated with the low numbers of parents from our highly successful toddler group that came along to other church activities such as the Alpha course, so I decided to pray every day for our group for six months. Jigsaw was born out of that prayer.
“I wanted something that would bridge the gap between toddlers and church, which would give people a chance to have a proper discussion and to be honest and real. Also it was very important that we were able to demonstrate our love for these women in a practical way.”
It was very important that we were able to demonstrate our love for these women in a practical way.
Jigsaw meets every Tuesday morning during term time for about an hour and a half. It includes around 15 minutes’ settling in time, a 45-minute slot with the children in the creche, “then the women usually stay for about another half hour when we let the children in, and pray for anyone who wants it”. They have about 15 to 20 mums who come along each week.
Two or three of the team help in the creche, although some of the mums who have been with them for a long time have been CRB checked so they can assist when needed. “We currently have two people running the main session and two take some of our mums, who have become Christians, into a more Bible-focused session as well. One of the great things about the group is that the new Christians who come have been able to start leading sessions and become part of the team.”
They try to look at a range of topics under the themes of parenting, relationships and ourselves. “Our pampering sessions are great – hand massage, relaxation, nail-painting etc – and the session where we looked at sex was a lot of fun!”
The biggest challenge by far, says Beth, has been how to help the women balance their new faith and their family. “Many have been nervous about how becoming a Christian will affect their marriage.” This has led to the new Saturday morning dads and kids venture which she and George launched this year.
The Jigsaw team has received encouraging feedback all along the way. “One mum told us a few weeks after we had started that Jigsaw had changed her life! Several of the women have told us that they don’t get the love, help and support that they get from Jigsaw anywhere else – and the fact that the mums keep coming, and keep bringing their friends along says it all.”
We have seen many answers to prayer – often miraculous – as we pray for the women, during and after the sessions. One woman who came along for the first time on a session where we were looking at dealing with children and sleep issues, shared how her two children woke up several times every night. For the past four years she had never got more than a few hours of broken sleep, which was seriously affecting her ability to cope during the day.
“I offered to pray for her briefly after the session, and to my surprise she turned up at our Sunday evening service that week bursting with the news that every day since the Jigsaw meeting her children had slept right through the night! A lapsed Christian since being a teenager, she is now part of the prayer ministry team at her local church and her husband has also become a Christian.
“God has brought along so many women who are open to hearing about Jesus and how he has helped us in our daily lives. Last year, all the women except one completed an Alpha course. Most gave their lives to Jesus and are now part of a church.
“I have learnt that when our plans come in line with God’s he does the important work. I have just been standing back and watching him move. I have seen the importance and the impact of prayer alongside practical demonstrations of love, and the privilege of seeing lives transformed by the Gospel.”
I have learnt that when our plans come in line with God’s he does the
important work. I have just been standing back and watching him move. I
have seen the importance and the impact of prayer alongside practical
demonstrations of love, and the privilege of seeing lives transformed
by the Gospel.
To find out more about Jigsaw, e-mail: jigsaw@thekingschurcharnold.org
This article, written by Sharon Barnard is reproduced with thanks from Woman Alive, July 2009.